on creating rituals that work for you

or: how I'm releasing my shame around being really, really bad at commitment

Practical Magic is a newsletter about ritual, creativity, and modern magic for the 21st century witch.

It’s written by Dana Cooper of Ritualist, a Hudson Valley-based witch shop & plant shop. ✷

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welcome to the first edition of Practical Magic!

I thought I’d kick things off by sharing some thoughts on a topic that I’m really passionate about: rituals. What constitutes a ritual? What tools do you need? And what if — like me — you find it nearly impossible to carve out space in your life to show up regularly?

scenes from some of my (simple) rituals over the seasons

Can I let you in on a little secret?

I named my business Ritualist — inspired by the word “ritual,” which can be defined as “an act or series of acts regularly repeated in a set precise manner” — and you know what I’m really bad at? Regularly repeating acts. Showing up to practices regularly is something that I’ve always struggled with. Committing to a repeated action, no matter how simple, is not something that comes easily to me (it’s why I have countless nearly-full bottles of daily supplements collecting dust in my cabinet.)

Because of this, I don’t always honor significant dates or moments in the same way from month to month or year to year — and often, I don’t honor them in a traditional way at all. It’s become a bit of a source of shame for me, especially in an age where everyone seems to have their big, beautiful rituals on display via social media. When someone asks me what I did to honor a recent full moon or how I chose to celebrate the solstice, I usually feel a twinge of imposter syndrome: am I a bad witch for not welcoming these sacred moments in ceremony? Am I a phony because I let a significant point on the Wheel of the Year pass by without any fanfare?

I’m here to tell you — and to remind myself — that you’re allowed to acknowledge these moments however you see fit. That might look like a communal gathering with others, or it may look like a simple solitary ritual in the comfort of your own home. And sometimes — as is often the case for me — it might look like going about life as usual: going to bed early because you’re burnt out, or enjoying comfort food while watching your favorite tv show because that’s what your body’s asking for. Honoring your energy and filling your own cup is just as important to your practice as planning an extravagant ritual. Acknowledging and making space for your own ebbs and flows is just as beautiful and powerful as following the moon’s or living by the seasons.

Lately, I’ve been carving out space for mini rituals that work within the confines of my own personal schedule and energetic bandwidth. Instead of promising to clear and rebuild my altar at each new moon or at the start of each astrological season, I’ve started creating a mini altar on my desk that I change up weekly on my day off. Each week, I take a moment to reflect on the things I want to call into my life for the next seven days — thinking about what upcoming events, goals, or intentions I’m focused on, and the archetypes or energies that would be most supportive — and I choose a couple of tarot cards and crystals that feel like allies. They get arranged in a simple manner, replacing the previous week’s choices, and that’s it. It’s minimal, but it’s effective: I spend a lot of time at my desk, so I see my little altar often. It brings me back to my intention and helps me get grounded in the present moment — and because it’s created as a container for just one week at a time, there’s never pressure to think too far ahead.

I also enjoy acknowledging the phases of the moon without putting pressure on myself to take aligned action at each checkpoint. I’ll look up at the night sky whenever I remember — usually on a late-night dog walk — and take note of the moon’s size and shape. Is it waxing? Waning? Almost full? It only takes a second to do a quick internal check in and ask myself where I’m at energetically (am I waxing? waning?) and often, I find that our energies are aligned. Even when they aren’t, peering up at the moon acts as a helpful reminder that my own energy is always in flux. Sometimes, catching a waxing gibbous out of the corner of my eye reminds me that I, too, am expanding each day, getting closer to my biggest and brightest; sometimes seeing the tiny sliver right before a dark moon reminds me that it’s crucial to make time for deep rest and release. I’ve learned that I don’t have to craft a specific ritual or attend a circle to embrace the magic of the moon: it’s there every night to offer me support and guidance, wherever I’m at on my own journey.

While there’s an undeniable power in working with the potent energy of a new moon, an equinox, or a cross-quarter holiday, there’s just as much magic available in the quiet moments and the micro rituals we perform every day. If daily practices, regular coven gatherings, or monthly moon circles feel supportive to you, lean into that. If you’re energized by gathering with others or setting aside dedicated time for ceremony on sacred days, that’s a beautiful practice to engage in. But if you thrive with less structure — or if you have a schedule or energy level that doesn’t allow for rigidity — try giving yourself permission to work with your own internal calendar.

ideas for accessible, bite-sized rituals

1. Take a page from my book and build a mini altar in a place where you spend a lot of time (desks, nightstands, and windowsills work great.) Don’t put pressure on yourself to craft something elaborate: just grab a couple of meaningful objects that represent a current goal, intention, or energy that you’re calling in. Make a ritual of changing it up on a schedule that works for you, taking time to thank the previous altar’s objects as you put them away and send positive energy into the new objects that you’re bringing in.

2. As you prep your morning coffee or tea, take a deep breath in, and exhale out any tension or anxiety that you’re holding in your body. Think of one simple intention for the day (if you don’t have something specific in mind, think about how you want to feel: calm? focused? optimistic?). Try not to let your mind wander to the hours ahead — just focus on your one objective for a minute or two. As you go about your day, try to check in with yourself and adjust your actions or energy as needed to align with the intention you set.

3. Committing to a daily journaling practice can feel daunting, but writing down a single sentence or a short list doesn’t sound so bad, right? Keep a notebook next to your bed, and each night before you go to sleep, jot down one thing that you’re proud of or that felt good during your day. Alternatively, make a quick list of things that you accomplished (my friend calls this a “did list” — as opposed to a to-do list — which I love) or things that you’re looking forward to doing the following day. This quick practice can help you end the day on a positive note, allow you to tap into feelings of gratitude, and can even help tie up the loose ends of your day so you’re not laying in bed reviewing everything in your head instead of sleeping (which I’m 100% guilty of doing!)

4. At the end of each day, take a moment to clear, reset, or call back your energy. This can be done in so many different ways, so choose whatever feels best and most accessible to you. Some options include closing your eyes, taking some deep, centering breaths, and imagining all of your energy coming back to you (as though you’re a magnet, attracting all of the bits & pieces you’ve shed throughout the day), waving your hands over your body to slough off any energy you’ve picked up that doesn’t belong to you, or bringing in cleansing tools like selenite, clear quartz, or incense to clear your physical and energetic body. ✷

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